Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Church Stories

-At my church in Illinois, a Christian comedian performed one evening and near the end, gave an invitation....you know the invitation I'm talking about. Somehow I was confused. I was sitting in the balcony, I stood up, and started walking downstairs only to mentally realize the substance of the invitation. I quickly replayed the comedian's message to see if a 're-dedication' would be appropriate and concluded no. I deviated from the group walking downstairs and pretended I was lost for about 3 minutes before going to my dad's office (he was a Pastor at the church). I met back up with family member's at the end and recounted the embarrassing story.

-My cousin Steven and I were sugar fiends in late elementary/early junior high. We had a whole tour around the church. First, we would sneak down to the pantry and take taste tests between sugar, equal, and sweet-n-low packets. We also ate cookies (mostly oatmeal...a real treat was the rare chocolate chip), drank tang up in the nursery, then to the choir room for the hard candies, and then across the street to Burger King (skipping church) to get free refills on Coke. No wonder he was a bit 'jumpy' those years.

-After 1980, 'Jim' was rarely seen at church without a Big Gulp in his hands. When the Super Big Gulp and then the Double Gulp came out, he upsized. 'Jim' was not self-aware...even taking the first chunk out of my sister Catherine's birthday cake. Our family used to spend Sunday afternoons at church because of the 45 minute drive into the city and needing to be at both Sunday morning and Sunday evening services. Because of this, Catherine's birthday cake was put into a fridge upstairs to be celebrated later. When it was taken out, there was a large section missing. 'Jim' later confessed.

1 comment:

ButterPeanut said...

would that be the big gulp with booze hidden in it? I had a friend in grad school who carted one of those around; very classy.

Story 1 was the best! Maybe this is why Lutherans don't do the "invitation".